Living with Chronic Illness and Pain

Chronic illness and chronic pain not only impact our sense of self (who we are) but also who we are in the world. We look fine externally, but internally it’s a different landscape. Living with an invisible illness is exhausting and often life-changing.

Receiving a chronic illness, chronic fatigue, or chronic pain diagnosis can be both a major relief and a devastating revelation. There can be relief in finally knowing what is happening to your mind/body so that you can move forward in navigating the chronic illness/pain. There can be relief in knowing your symptoms are not “all in your head” and that maybe there are others out there like you.

But it can also be devastating. It means you now have an incurable illness or condition. It might mean you are now entering a world of unknowns. Unknown impacts, unknown treatments, unknown tests, unknown side effects from medications, unknown lifestyle adjustments, and an unknown future. It might mean you’re questioning who you are now - with a body that might be unpredictable in how it functions, in its pain levels, and in its abilities. Life as you knew it might be forever changed.

Living with an invisible illness impacts every facet of life: personal life, sexual intimacy, body image, intimate relationships with partners and children, and social and work relationships with friends and coworkers. In addition, it can be isolating, anxiety-provoking, confusing, and distressing. At times, it can feel hopeless. You look in the mirror and see your “old self” but the invisible illness has you feeling like a stranger in your body. You might start to question your own abilities, your body sensations, and whether it is, in fact, “all in your head”. Your spoons run out sometimes even before breakfast and you don’t even know why you’re so exhausted. Receiving comments such as “but you don’t look sick” by well-meaning folks can further send you into a spiral of anger, shame, and/or guilt. Your friends, family, or doctors might question whether you’re depressed, anxious, or hypochondriacal. But in reality, you’re tired, you want answers, you want to stop hurting, and you want to know when life can get back to “normal”.

If you have an invisible illness diagnosis, you are not alone. In fact, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC, 2019) roughly 60% of adults living in the U.S. have been diagnosed with a chronic disease, and 40% of adults live with two or more. Roughly 5-10% of the U.S. population lives with at least one autoimmune disorder. Recent research has linked adverse early childhood experiences, chronic stress, trauma, and PTSD to chronic illness and autoimmune disorders. The good news is that psychotherapy can help.

Chronic Pain Counseling & Services

Psychotherapy offers support to

• Navigate the uncharted waters of living with a chronic illness 

• Heal from traumas

• Regulate the nervous system

• Grieve the old self and way of life

• Develop a new normal

• Create supportive structures, relationships, and habits

• Reconnect with your body, felt sensations, and yourself

Services for Couples Living with Chronic Illness

Chronic illness doesn’t just impact the individual; it impacts everyone in their life, especially intimate partners. Lifestyles may change, roles may change or be reversed, intimacy may fall off the radar, and life may feel like nothing more than running from medical appointment to medical appointment. At times it can feel as though chronic pain dictates whether or not you experience joy and connection in your relationship. It can be exhausting for both partners to navigate and at times equally isolating for the non-chronically ill partner.

We also offer couples counseling to help both partners:

• Rediscover who they are in the relationship

• Process feelings of guilt, shame, anger, and fear 

• Explore troubles with intimacy

• Co-create new roles

• Breathe life into the relationship

Therapy Modalities

We believe that our bodies store the stories of our lives. Therefore, mental and physical wellness go hand in hand. Our practice is informed by evidence-based scientific research from neuroscience, betrayal trauma, complex trauma, mindfulness and meditation practices, somatic psychotherapy, nature-based therapy, grief therapy, and other general therapeutic approaches to treat chronic pain. 

Chronic illness not only impacts external relationships, but it impacts the relationship we have to our body.  It is unpredictable. It causes pain. It causes mistrust in the body. To help heal the relationship with the body, we provide psychoeducation on the nervous system, how chronic illness disrupts its normal functioning, and how that disruption can exasperate chronic illness symptoms. This in turn helps quell the chronic illness symptoms and moves towards developing a healthy relationship with the body.

Why a Somatic Approach to Chronic Illness?

What you are experiencing is real. Your pain is real. Your symptoms are real. You are not alone. If you’ve previously done therapy with limited success, it may be because it was a talk-based therapy and talk-based therapies don’t address the body. Chronic illness lives in the body. Trauma lives in the body. We live in our bodies. This means talk alone won’t help resolve the issue, rather the body needs to be invited into the therapy session. A body-based (somatic) approach can help you learn new ways to engage with your illness, your symptoms, and your body, allowing you to reconnect with yourself and with those you love.

Are You Ready To Take The Next Step?

We’re here to help.